controversial yet most worshipped love story

“Radha didn’t exist, sena,”  “Do you want to know who actually Radha was?”

I couldn’t wait to hear.

My Grandmother began narrating.

She is the stream of tears which flow from Krishna’s eyes when his devotees love him. It’s called ‘Dhara’ in Hindi and when you repeatedly say this word you strangely hear Radha. That is Radha. The inseparable entity of Krishna. To understand Radha and Krishna’s relationship you need to understand that Krishna was a GOD and being loved by a human wasn’t something that was possible. Every human being was his devotee. There was just one person who could love him, it was he himself and hence Radha was born, the female manifestation of Krishna with more power, more beauty, more attraction and more spirit. By ‘Krishna’ we mean the one who attracts all. He was that dark knight who had the flair to attract all but was himself attracted by one and only Radha. She was the energy that resided in Krishna. The soul in him, and that’s why it is said “Atma Tu Radhika Tasya” (Radha, you are His soul).

I was amazed by the clarity of her thoughts. Was my question even relevant after I listened to her for some minutes? Did they hold any significance? Was I even capable enough to understand the two beings whose names were inseparable even after 5000 years? Was I trying to assess their relationship on a wrong platform and during a time when moral values are changing every minute?

Can two people be so close that distance, age and the social norms don’t ever matter? 

Was I testing the moral values of a God figure on the parameters by which we asses each other?

And why?

To just give our deeds and actions a moral stamp? But have we ever thought that the love we are talking of is as pure as that of Radha-Krishna? Does that love exist today? If no, then we should stop giving our relationship and its physical aspects, the name of Radha-Krishna.

But then what actually happened between them?

Who was Radha?

Childhood friend of Krishna, she was one of the Gopis in Vrindavan. But she was special for Krishna. She was elder to him as described in various literatures, although no one knows the fact. Krishna left Vrindavan for his worldly duties when he was 10 and never returned to Vrindavan to meet his old friend. It is said that before Krishna left Vrindavan, he married Radha as per the rituals of Gandharva Vivah where Lord Brahma was himself present as a witness.

Besides Radha all the Gopis of Vrindavan were also married to Krishna. When Brahma took away all of Krishna’s friends, Lord Krishna transformed himself as one of the cowherd boys for a year. During this time all the villagers got their sons married. Since only Lord Krishna had transformed himself as all the cowheard boys, Lord Krishna had actually married all the gopis. And it was after this, that Krishna performed the eternal Rasleela which is a matter of joke in today’s time.

I got busy in having dinner when she asked me if I had heard the tale of Krishna, Radha and Uddhava. And she began narrating.

Uddhava, Krishna’s cousin completed his studies under the guidance of Krishna and asked for a title of ‘Maharishi’ to which Krishna replied saying “Visit Radha’s place and deliver the message so that your studies are considered to be complete.”

When Uddhava asked Krishna about the message, he replied saying, “I have nothing to say to Radha. My silence is my message to her.” Confused Uddhava went to Radha’s place with a paper where he wrote a long random message thinking that Radha would get angry if he would have given her a blank paper.

Radha read the message, laughed and asked “Where is his silence?”

Uddhava had nothing to say.

“How did you know that he has nothing to say Radha?” asked Uddhava.

“We have nothing to share; nothing to convey. We share our breaths, time and every moment of a day. We have walked the path of trust, love, devotion and sacrifices for so long even after decades of separation that even our silence speaks a lot. He does not need to send me messages. His silence can say it all.”

Such devotion, such love was unexplainable.

And here Uddhava was pursuing Krishna for a title of ‘maharishi’ instead of getting to worship a God without being selfish.

Radha understanding his dilemma spoke again.

Uddhava, learn to trust Krishna. Your ego stands between you and the truth. Shedding your fear, confusions and being one with the universe, being one with the one who beholds universe, is your truth.

Life always gives you moments when you have to choose between two options. Always take side of truth and love and you will gain wisdom. Each decision will bring you closer to your true self.

How can you love Krishna so intensely even when you are not with him and even then remain free from everything?”, Uddhava asked.

Radha replied, “Faith and insecurity. There is a difference when you love a person and feel insecure about him and there is a difference when you have faith in him. Fear results in shackles and faith results in freedom. Fear gets lost in some time but faith grows with every passing day. The love because of insecurity leads to fear and the latter leads to the enlightenment. And that change is the only constant thing in world. Even Radha and Krishna are just ripples in the water but their love will remain forever.”

Uddhava came back to Krishna, enlightened because his teaching was complete after meeting the soul of Krishna, Radha. And he realized what true love means, what true devotion is and what the truth of life is.

That was the relationship between Radha and Krishna.

I was in tears when I heard this story and my Grandmother saw that. It had been so many years since I had been worshipping Radha Krishna but never understood the depth of their relationship. Surely, he was god but there was something which was disturbing me, may be the moral values of today’s time or the inability to understand the reason behind Krishna’s decision to leave Radha in Vrindavan.

I finished up the dinner and went to her bedroom where she was making her bed. I asked, then why Krishna left Radha in vrindavan. She knew that something was disturbing me and she smiled back. She asked me to pull a chair close to her bed and she started narrating another tale.

Uddhava, Krishna’s cousin fell in love with his friend’s fiancée. Confused about the decision he came to Krishna to sort out the problem. Krishna said, ”You can be with every woman you love in your life. Just convert the passing fire into the sacrificial fire on an altar. Stand true to yourself; build an altar of devotion around her; offer her the most precious thing you can offer; then she will give you the warmth and strength of the sacrificial fire. Uddhava, I have done this with every woman who came in my life, whether it was Yashoda maa, the Gopis, Devakimaa or Radha. And if you cannot worship the altar of the woman, your love for them is selfish; you have no devotion to offer her, you only want her as a passing glow,” said Krishna.

Uddhava, you have always scolded me for leaving Radha in Vrindavan but I left her because I wanted her to be my sacred fire. I loved Radha because I used to think that I will be a cowherd forever in Vrindavan and spend my life loving Radha. But I was not destined to live in Vrindavan forever and it would have been injustice to bring Radha with me who would have never found her ‘kanha’ in The Emperor Krishna. I was the very breath of her life but I parted from her because I love her truly and didn’t want her to stop loving me for someone I was no more. I wasn’t the kanha she loved. She has always remained there with me as my soul and I have remained the truth of her life. It was the only way,”’ said Krishna.

She caressed my face and asked me to go to sleep. I realized that in those few moments while I was listening to her, I was a changed person. I finally understood what being in love meant.

People have defined love in their own terms. I have my own definition now.

The courage and belief to let someone go is what love is all about.

And that is the truth of the most controversial yet most worshipped love story of all time.