London , Mar'13
Love affairs have been failing, and parents feel very happy. Love affairs are failing because first the marriage was arranged by the astrologer, then it was arranged by the parents, and now it is being arranged by biology, by instinct. You suddenly feel that you like a woman, but you don't know how long this is going to last and you are not even aware why you like her. You are not even alert to what it is in you that likes her. Maybe it is just her hairstyle. Now, are you going to get married to a hairstyle? You can get married, but tomorrow morning when you see her hair disheveled you will be at a loss:
"Is this the same woman I fell in love with?" How long can you be interested in the hairstyle? Soon you will get fed up. The same hairstyle again and again -- the whole day, twenty-four hours a day...!
People are falling in love because a certain man has a certain type of nose. People are falling in love with fragments! Nobody is bothered about the totality of the person -- and it is a vast thing. The real thing is the total functioning of the person, and that can be experienced only when you live together.
I have never heard about any perfect marriage. They say perfect marriages are made in heaven. Nobody comes back from there so maybe it is true, but what kind of marriage will those perfect marriages be? There will be no tension, there will be no individuality in the man or in the woman. They will never collide, they will never fight. They will be too sweet to each other. And too much sweetness brings diabetes! :D
Arranged marriage is like a nightmare for me, I gave million excuses for rejecting someone whom my parents have chosen .In search of a fairy tale love where guy shares a highest emotional attachment with me, who couldn't stay a single day without me and who never believe any false things what others say about me and when something went wrong who asks me for the explaination rather than blindly believing every thing that he knew from others. oh yea he should be more than 6 feet. Too many expectations messed up my first love and my fairy tale too. Because I don't know at that time that even in fairy tale like love story we need to compromise in somethings.
My parents always expected me to marry a guy who earns millions of rupees , who belongs to blue blood and all absolute absurd things,when I loved a guy, they said am not that mature enough to take decision about my marriage ( !!!!??? Crazy line I have ever heard ) while am fighting with this things , some very strange misunderstandings aroused between the guy and me and my parents took advantage of all what happened . Forced me to do do/write things what I never supposed to do/say. I wonder how money and other materialistic things makes life happy. No they won't ,, Relationship is synonym for deep emotional bonding and why these people don't know that being so much older and wiser people than me .
Whatever I have decided to gave up on him and also on my parent's choice too.
I know if I once meet personally and explained what really happened everything will be solved and I can happily stay with the guy whom I loved but I didn't because I thought it's not worthy to share life with someone who kept all the things aside ,who forgot all the good times we have shared and clinging on a single misunderstanding. I know am too arrogant to accept that I still love him.
I have decided to move on. I wanted my breakup in such a way that he won't bother me in near future.I have succeeded ,he even don't care even if I die, But strangely now am over concerned about him :) is it because still I love him?
Probably we don't really love each other , Love is death of the ego, the personality, the false. There is no way to have both, love and ego. Either you can have the ego or you can have love. We both have that ego issues.May be we just admire each other that's it.
Dear Santa next time please give me such a Christmas gift which will stay with me forever.Give me true love if that won't exists never bring the thought of loving somebody again in my mind.
అందరి కథలు ఒకలానే ఉంటాయనుకుంటా ..!!!
Love' s not attachment. Love does not yield sorrow. Love has no despair or hope. Love cannot be made respectable, part of the social scheme. When it is not there, every form of travail begins. To possess and to be possessed is considered a form of love. This urge to possess, a person or a piece of property, is not merely the demands of society and circumstances but springs from a far deeper source. It comes from the depths of loneliness. Each one tries to fill this loneliness in different ways, drink, organized religion, belief, some form of activity and so on. All these are escapes but it's still there.
రిప్లయితొలగించండిLove cannot be thought about, love cannot be cultivated, love cannot be practised. The practice of love, the practice of brotherhood, is still within the field of the mind, therefore it is not love. When all this has stopped, then love comes into being, then you will know what it is to love. Then love is not quantitative but qualitative.
When you love, there is neither one nor many: there is only love. It is only when there is love that all our problems can be solved and then we shall know its bliss and its happiness.
I think her parents are correct in saying that "she isn't mature enough to decide and handle a life long relationship"
రిప్లయితొలగించండిTrue lovers should be ready to accept each other's imperfections and sort out misunderstandings, as life has many ways 2make you weak.
One can never have a stable relationship with fragile mindset (Ego's, lack of maturity etc..)
This story also reminds me of a recent blog which deals with splintered mind and divorce rate . "Divorce - How does that solve anything ?"
రిప్లయితొలగించండిLikewise, she clearly had a chance to talk to the guy and sort out misunderstandings, but this generation is so delicate to handle any issues in a relationship and ready to call for a breakup
Hmm.. ,,,
రిప్లయితొలగించండిLove is not a bonding that will be done by anyone. bonding will happen as they go on understanding eachother, care for eachother and keeping eachother smiling(adjustment in our terminology).
రిప్లయితొలగించండిA relationship is a combination of two different or same hearts. So, for first time they may fall in love with the external beauty of the other, unless if they have a chance to see their behavior closely.
But for the relation to grow stronger, they have to understand eachother and remove the flaws with in their own nature, with this the bond is like fevicol :P
For the parents to deny a relation: there can be many reasons.
1) they feel that the child is not mature enuf to take a decision
2) Everyone feel that they have taken a good decision in that particular instance
3)only time can judge the strength & weakness of a decision and that's when everyone will learn or think about the decision that was taken long back.
'THAT'S WHAT WE CALL AS EXPERINCE' and the decision can leave a good or a bad memory.
So parents take a decision from their or others experience and judge with the child's nature, habits, thinking etc..and remember the same decision will be tested in time....
So no one can say what is right or wrong...we need to take decision as the life moves along....
Finally, if u r reading this, u hav lots of patience reading my logics :P . It means you have the ability to leave the ego to keep up a relation...with anyone you love...and patience some times pay back with good returns ( In economics & stock market) learnt from you....
Even the guy might be thinking the same about the gal...so, the problem is that whoever may be the one, initiating the first step,both will be together happily and remember there won't be fun in life without teasers, fun, small fights but remember misunderstandings to be cleared fast(coz the arrangement of the words, the way it is expresses, that creates the misunderstanding)....
Good day...
Lokesh
chinni katha kooda raledu saanvi :(
రిప్లయితొలగించండిఅందరి కథలు ఒకలా ఉండవు. ప్రేమించటం, పెళ్లి చేసుకోవటం ఆ తర్వాత కలిసి ఉండాలా, విడిపోవాలా..ఇవన్ని వ్యక్తిగతం. అందులో స్వేఛ్చ ఎంత? కట్టుబాట్లు ఎంత అనేది వ్యక్తిని బట్టి ఆధారపడి ఉంటుంది. ఒక మనిషితో జీవిత కాలం జీవించాలనుకుంటే కొన్ని సర్దుబాట్లు అవసరమవ్వచ్చు, కానీ వ్యక్తిత్వాన్నే త్యాగం చెయ్యాల్సివస్తే మాత్రం ఆ బంధం అక్కర్లేదనుకోవడం మంచిది. మనకు మన జీవితానికి కావాల్సిన ప్రేమ ఒక్కసారి, ఒకేసారి, ఒకే వ్యక్తి దగ్గర దొరుకుతుందని ఆశపడటం, కోరుకోవటం కేవలం ఒక భావన. అది సాధ్యపడుతుందా, అలాంటిది అసలు ఒకటి ఉంటుందా అనేది అనుమానమే. కొన్ని స్నేహాలు, పరిచయాలు, చిన్న చిన్న ఆకర్షణలు మన జీవితంలో ప్రేమని రీఛార్జ్ చేసి వెళ్తాయి. అలాగని వాటి కాలపరిమితి తాత్కాలికం అనుకోనక్కర్లేదు. కానీ అవి ఎందువల్ల మన జీవితంలోకి ప్రవేశించాయో ఆ పని పూర్తి చేసి వెళ్లిపోతాయి.
రిప్లయితొలగించండి